Build that wall and build it strong

Contact:
Player name: Dal
Timezone: EDT (GMT -4:00)

+ AIM: AsylumBred
+ Email: daletchica[at]yahoo[dot]com
+ LJ: dalicious
+ Plurk: Ask and you shall receive; I prefer to know the people who are adding me there, so.

Of course, you're also more than welcome to PM this account.


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[And today, Johto, you are being treated to a video from inside a house that should be at least vaguely familiar to those of you who started out your Pokémon Journey^TM from New Bark Town. The camera seems to be set up on the kitchen table, tilted back to show a couple of people sitting at said table, a couple of cups of some steaming drink between them. Tea, perhaps.

This would be Tokiomi Tohsaka, just chilling in the kitchen with Mom. You know. As you do.

She looks vaguely strained, like she's just itching to try to push him outside - she can't have him getting a late start, that won't do at all. In the meantime, while Tokiomi looks more or less calm, it's obvious that he's a bit weary for what probably amounts to "a whole mess of reasons."]

As much as I don't appreciate what you've done in bringing me here, whomever you are, let's start with the basics. Whatever suggestion you've given this woman to make her believe she's a member of my family...if it isn't removed within the next ten minutes, I'll ensure that the necessary steps are taken to hold you accountable for your actions.

[He smiles a bit after that; the expression is a confident one, but it isn't cruel. It's almost amiable, really, if we ignore the vague threats full of vagueness that he's throwing around.]

Following that, we can discuss my return to Fuyuki City. You're rather bold, but I trust you understand that trifling with the Tohsaka family isn't something to be undertaken lightly; the sooner that these requests are met, the more likely I'll be to forgive.

[And after that's out there, Tokiomi will just be reaching out and...attempting to...turn off the ggggggGGGGGGGGOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, what in the world did he even do to produce that noise -

Though he recovers quickly enough from the sheer amount of startling that got, you'll have to forgive him for a moment while he simply linefaces at that low-pitched cacophony he's somehow horribly broken his Gear into producing. As far as he's concerned, the noise is best described as "really damn awful"; as far as modern audiences are concerned, the noise is probably best described as "dubstep," but to each their own.]

That's likely not a good sign, is it...

[Whether it is or not, Mom doesn't seem too inclined to be helpful over there, offering what sounds like a quiet "Do you need a replacement for that, dear...?" in the background before the video feed finally shuts off.]

So, how has your RPing experience been with Tokiomi so far - good, bad, aggressively mediocre? Here's where you can tell me! I'm always striving to improve, so feel free to crit as much as you like!

Things to possibly offer crit on:

+ Character Voice: Is his dialogue appropriate for his character, and does it sound like something he would conceivably say? Am I off in terms of slang usage or character-specific terms? Have I been calling your character by the wrong thing entirely (using a name instead of a title or the other way around, etc)? Is he being too aggressive? Overly passive? Is he too vague, or hitting your character over the head with all the subtlety of an anvil tied to an oncoming train at a time when that would not be appropriate?

+ Character Actions: Are the physical actions I'm describing logical and...well, physically possible? Are the situations that I'm utilizing in posts reasonably in-character? Is he treating your character in ways that are consistent with their CR, or has he been acting strangely toward them for seemingly no reason?

+ Tag Content: Am I giving you enough to respond to? Am I giving too much by overloading with dialogue or descriptions? Am I being too vague about the direction of a thread and causing it to meander around aimlessly, or does it feel like I'm going the other way entirely and trying to direct or force our CR?

+ Other Tagging Problems: Do I frequently miss the point or make stupid mistakes while tagging? Has there been derpy grammar, unclear phrasing, accidental godmode battling, things in action brackets that cause a tremendous WHAT THE HELL response, or the like?

...or it's entirely possible that you just really liked that last thread we did and want to tell me. That's perfectly cool as well!

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